“Janelle said she didn't initially enter jail thinking this would be a viable housing cost option, but as the judge read her sentence and she started doing the math, she realized how much money she was going to save”
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"I really can't confirm or deny my feelings over this new development. What matters are facts. And the fact is that these clowns are about to owe me a milkshake,"
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"We are urging drivers to use extreme caution when using Lower Wacker Drive, unless they are confident they are on good terms with their God.”
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“For the many many years of gender inequality, men will now be lactating ghost pepper hot sauce, rather than the originally planned ranch dressing, for at least 1 week every month, and just in time for BBQ season.”
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“The Taste of Chicago has an almost ‘holy trinity’: weed, greed, and plenty of feed.”
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